My Immortal commentary
by Aintzane411
Summary: My thoughts as I read the infamous "My Immortal" fanfiction. Rated for the swearing and such in the story itself. My commentary is more or less pretty clean. ABANDONED
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay, so here we go! If anyone wants to read the actual version, without commentary, I'm using the one posted here: http:/ www. fanfiction .net/s/ 4719325/12/ My_Immortal_REPOST (Minus spaces, of course)**

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><p>AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) <strong>What is this, I don't even…<strong> 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. **…Um, I think you need new spell checkers… **U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! **I feel sorry for you, Justin.** MCR ROX!

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) **So you were born with long, ebony hair?** with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). **Kk, catch ya later then!** I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. **So, you'd do it with your brother?** I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England **Scotland **where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) **No shit, Sherlock!** and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets **I don't think Goths wear pink **and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining **What? I don't even-** so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. **Because reasons.**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... **Drum roll please!** Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. **Da fuq? Draco Malfoy is anything but shy.**

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! **Keep your day job.**


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Fangz **Fangz? I guess it sort of makes sense because you're a vampire, but still.** 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. **Really? Because I normally wake up on the roof!** It was snowing and raining again. **Okay, I'm pretty sure it's scientifically impossible to snow and rain at the same time.** I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. **I don't even-** My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet **Again, Goths don't usually do pink** with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun. **Definitely sound more punk than goth.**

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.) **Okay, I get it. You both enjoy dark eyeliner and white foundation. Enough already.**

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall. **Because the Great Hall is now in the dungeons.**

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted. **I think you'd get in trouble for cursing in the Great Hall, seeing as there's plenty of teachers.**

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily. **Liar.**

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me. **Um, Hogsmeade is a wizarding village, as in Muggles don't know about it.**

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well... do you want to go with me?" he asked. **No.**

I gasped. **Le gasp!**


	3. Chapter 3

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! **Nope, this is too fun. ;D **odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! **I'm really not enjoying you repeating "fangs" up here. It's slightly angering.** oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.** Thank Merlin.**

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. **How many pairs of fishnets do you have? Jeez!** Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. **Um, lace? **I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. **How do you make waist-long hair look spiky? **I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. **Really? I don't even- This is so offensive to people!** I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. **Okay, I get it! You're pale and enjoy black eyeliner and lipstick! Enough!** I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. **Because Malfoy now knows how to enchant a car with the same enchantments that took Mr. Weasley years to somewhat perfect. **He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!). **Really? Because now he sounds SUPER gay. Someone needs to adjust their gay-dar.**

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice. **Yes, because going to your favorite band's concert with a guy you say you like is such a depressing thing.**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. **Oh! That explains everything! **When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song). **Once more, thank Merlin!**

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad. **He should, if he's out with you.**

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively **Okay, WHAT? Draco is NOT sensitive!** and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face. **Her face is blonde? How is this possible?**

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel **Who? **for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled **Crawled? I don't even- **back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into... **Drum roll please!** the Forbidden Forest!


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I sed stup flaming **Nope!** ok ebony's name is ENOBY **Nice to meet you, Enoby.** nut mary su OK! **Suuure she's not Mary Sue.** DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! **Of course. They just met, what, a few hours ago? Romeo and Juliet much?** dey nu eechodder b4 ok! **Okay, whatever you say.**

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" **Jeez, he was just taking the scenic route. Calm your tits.**

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. **And then he died because he just stepped out of a flying car.** I walked out of it too, curiously. **Hmm. How curious. My new boyfriend just fell to his death so I'm going to go investigate!**

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily. **Damn, you're still alive.**

"Ebony?" **I thought your name was Enoby now.** he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) **Why? He's a wizard, he can just use a glamour charm! **which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. **What? This doesn't even make sense! Why would depressing sorrow and evilness make you not mad anymore?**

And then... suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. **Oh, God. **Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. **No, please stop.** He took of my top and I took of his clothes. **Please, I may throw up. **I even took of my bra. **I'm begging you! **Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. **Well, there goes my lunch.**

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. **Wow, because that was the most hard-core porn I've ever seen. **We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. **Um, you're a vampire. No warmth for you. **And then... **Drum roll, please.**

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was... **Another drum roll please. **Dumbledore! **What? Okay, Dumbledore is WAY out of character!**


	5. Chapter 5

AN: STOP flaming! **I shan't say nothing if you don't say please! **if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! **Really? Because you can totally see through my computer screen to see what kind of person I am. **Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache **Dumbledore, the greatest wizard of all time, can't cure a simple headache? Even if he can't, then Madame Pomfrey can't?** ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws! **Okay, see you in never-never land!**

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. **Did you guys even get dressed?** He kept shouting at us angrily. **Because you're still naked.**

"You ludacris **Isn't that a band? I think you mean ludicrous. **fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. **Perhaps you should see a doctor. Maybe Dr. Cullen?** Draco comforted me. **Interesting. I, personally, would run away screaming.** When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall. **Why isn't she angrier?**

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape. **Ditto with this guy.**

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" **Someone's having a Romeo and Juliet complex!**

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms." **What? That's it? Wow, that's wonderful to teach your students to have unprotected sex in the Forbidden Forest.**

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony? ***Enoby**" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. **Strange pajamas…** When I came out... **Drum roll please!**

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom **What is he doing there? It's the girls' bathroom!**, and he started to sing "I just wanna live" by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. **Yeah, because the dormitories are sort of charmed to keep boys out. **We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: shjt up prepz ok! **Nope. **PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows! **You keep saying that, and yet you're still here!**

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. **Um, you're a vampire. You die when you see a cross.** I spray-painted my hair with purple. **You're also a witch, which means you have a wand. Plus you are in your seventh year, which means that you have learned glamour charms by now. Use them. **

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk **Wow**, and a glass of red blood. **You know, shouldn't you at least try to keep your vampirism a secret? Because, I mean, I know plenty of people who would freak out if they found out a vampire was at their school. Either that or they'll try to stick you in the sun to see if you sparkle.** Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top. **Sucks to your ass-mar.**

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy **Oh, God, another one? **with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face **Because that's totally attractive.** and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses **Glamour charms. Again. Use them.** just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. **…You're in Europe. Almost everyone has "sexy English accents." **He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko. **Wow, really? What is this, I don't even-**

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire **Da fuq?** these days." he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled. **Oh, yes. Because Harry Potter now giggles at the thought of human blood and dresses like a gay emo boy.**

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed. **Again, shouldn't you keep this little factoid a secret?**

"Really?" he whimpered. **RUN, HARRY! Run while you still can!**

"Yeah." I roared. **Jeez, he's already scared. No need to traumatize the boy.**

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him. **Oh, God. Please no more porn. I don't think I can handle it! **


	7. Chapter 7

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. **WHO? I will hunt them down and kill them in their sleep!** n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! **Once again, you keep saying that, and yet, here we are!** STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! **Nope, Chuck Testa.** Evony **Oh, is it Evony now? Okay.** isn't a Marie Sue **Yes she is.** ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake! **No, I think she has more problems than just being depressed. **

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). **Actually, yes. Yes, it does. **I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. **Poor, poor Vampire.** I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. **Told you he was gay.** Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then... **OH GOD. DRUM ROLL.**

We started frenching passively **What? Frenching passively? **and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. **Because it's totally logical to go from barely kissing to naked within a matter of seconds.** He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. **Oh, boy. Here we go again.** We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?) **Why yes. Yes, it is.**

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm **Ew. Enough.** when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. **Wouldn't you have seen it the first time you guys did the nasty?** It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words... **Drum roll please! **Vampire! **Oh… Oh, God, help me.**

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed. **Still naked, by the way.**

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much. **You don't actually know anything yet. Just that he has a tattoo of someone or something by the name of Vampire. Maybe it was in honor of you, seeing as you're a vampire. Did you think of that?**

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!" **Oh, my God. Don't even get me started on this. Stereotypes… Anger…**

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. **Wow, really?** He had a really big you-know-what **Argh! Stop posting about sex and penises and vaginas!** but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled. **Cool story, bro! Tell it again! Actually, no. Please don't tell it again.**


	8. Chapter 8

AN: stop flassing ok! **What is flassing?** if u do den u r a prep! **Okay, enough with the prep thing!**

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked **He traversed through the dungeons naked? It's awfully cold down there. I hope he doesn't get sick.** and started begging me to take him back. **Still naked.**

"Ebony, **I thought it was Evony now.** it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly. **Still naked.**

My friend B'loody Mary Smith **Wow, really? You and your friends have such unique names!** smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair **Why do all the girls have waist-length, black hair?** and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. **Again with the contacts?** She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. **Okay. We get it. Everyone is pale here.** Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. **What? **Her real parents are vampires **Oh, God, I don't think I will enjoy this.** and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. **Oh, my Rowling.** She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. ) **Yes, because people are sorted into houses based on religion. Slytherins are Satanists, Hufflepuffs are Christians, Gryffindors are agnostic, and Ravenclaws are atheist!**

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him. **Because it's always a wise choice to ignore the head of your house.**

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him. **But… You were never with Vampire.**

Everyone gasped. **Le gasp! Oh, the drama!**

I don't know why Ebony ***Evony **was so mad at me. **Wait, who's point of view is this?** I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony ***Evony**) for a while but then he broke my heart. **Why did you switch to Draco's point of view all of a sudden?** He dumped me because he liked Britney, **Oh, God, not Britney Spears!** a stupid preppy fucker. **Oh. Okay.** We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.) **Yes, because hanging out with a prep means the end of the entire world as we know it!**

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest **That's an awful long way to run. Up from the dungeons to the first floor, out the main door, down the path an awful long way, past the lake, and past Hagrid's Hut. You must be in pretty good shape.** where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears. **Why the heck would you go back there? The tree is tainted!**


	9. Chapter 9

AN: stop flaming ok! **Nope.** I dntn red all da boox! **Oh, that definitely explains a lot.** dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! **Not your fault? Right, because your computer turns itself on at night and writes this story without your knowledge.** besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX! **I don't even-**

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco. **Um. Ew.**

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! **Everything in the entire world was flying towards you? Oh, goodness gracious!** He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was... **Drum roll please!** Voldemort! **Wow, just like Voldemort in the movie! Interesting!**

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. **Um, why?** Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. **Again, why? Crookshanks isn't a spell. It's the name of Hermione's, sorry, I mean B'loody Mary's cat.** I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.

"Ebony. ***Evony**" he yelled. "Thou **Thou? You can barely spell regular words, yet you use thou?** must kill Vampire Potter!" **But I always thought Voldemort had to be the one to kill Harry!**

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up? **Exactly. Now you're thinking logically.**

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun. **What? You guys are freaking wizards! You have wands! Use them!** "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must! **Again with the thou…**" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way. **Dude. You're standing in the exact spot where you shagged him the previous day. I'm sure he can smell Draco's sperm embedded in the poor tree. **

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. **Don't worry, Voldy. I feel your pain.** "I hath telekinesis. **Telekinesis is when you can move things with your mind. I think the word you're looking for is telepaty.**" he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!" **You seem awfully happy for being extremely scared and mad.**

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) **No, actually I don't.** between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. **You were walking while making out? Wow, that's a pretty big talent. Perhaps you should join a talent show one day!**


	10. Chapter 10

AN: stup it u gay fags if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! **Nope. Still amusing. **ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al **I sort of assumed that, seeing as she's at Hogwarts.** n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok! **What? I think you need to turn your spell check on. What did you even say? Something about being evil?**

I was really scared about Vlodemort all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. **Nice name. /sarcasm **I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. **What a surprise. You know, if you really were "emo," or "goth," or whatever you are, then you would probably not be in a band.** People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it. **Okayyyy, then…**) and Hargrid. **LOL WHAT? **Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists **Don't even get me started.**(he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s **Um, you were wearing one earlier in the story. Or did you forget that you're a vampire as well? **(there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak **Yum! Steak! How would you like yours cooked?**) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. **Wow, because that's totally the most depressing movie ever.** I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut **Yes.** but I'm really not. **Lies.**

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears. **How do you "bust" into tears?**

"Ebony! ***Enoby **Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears.  
>Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall. <strong>Suddenly, Draco!<strong>

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?) **Yes. Yes, that is.**

I started to cry and cry. **I thought you were already crying.** Draco started to cry too all sensitive. **Wait, why is he crying? **Then he ran out crying. **What?**

We practiced for one more hour. **Still crying.** Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! **Oh, God, here we go again.** His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. **WHAT? XD I DON'T EVEN!** (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists." **Oh, the suspense!**


	11. Chapter 11

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! **Nope.** c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 **My guess is it will be. **it delz wit rly sris issus! **Sure it does.** sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me! **What?**

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off **Jeez, she was just trying to help!** and I ran to my room crying myself. **Is that like wetting yourself?** Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way. **Didn't stop Draco before.**

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood **You should really get that checked out.** and then I slit both of my wrists. **Could you stop with the slitting the wrists?** They got all over my clothes **Your wrists got all over your clothes? **so I took them off **You took your wrists off? **and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak **Mm! Tasty! **and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. **Sandly? What? **I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. **Couldn't believe what? Your outfit? Because I can't believe it either.** Then I looked out the window and screamed... **Drum roll please! **Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! **Electronics don't work at Hogwarts. **And Loopin was masticating to it! **Okay, masticating? XD LOL WHAT IS AIR? **They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! **Um, you're dressed now.** ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. **Again, you already have clothes on. **Suddenly Vampire ran in. **Oh, so Vampire doesn't look like a perv when he comes in?**

"Abra Kedavra!" **That's not the spell…** he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. **LOLWHAT? HIS WOMB?** I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times **Dude. You're a witch in your seventh year at Hogwarts, remember?** and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. **Oh, so now he can look like a perv?** "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly... **Drum roll, please!**

Hargrid ran outside on his broom **Ran outside.. On his broom? What? **and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!" **What? He's the Keeper of Keys, remember? Not to mention half-giant!**

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT..." **No you're not.** Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!" **Wow, really? **

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" **What? Have any what? I'm lost. **I yelled in madly.

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. **LOL Triumphelephantly! XD **"The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. **Um, no, I actually don't know how it feels, sorry.**

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook. **…I REALLY hope you mean cloak here, because otherwise it could be extremely perferted… =/**

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint. **Da fuq?**

"BECAUSE... **Drum roll. **BECAUSE...** Drum roll again.**" Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. **Um, Hagrid's wand was taken when he was expelled from Hogwarts in his 3****rd**** year.** Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. **Da fuq?**

"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan. **Again, I say: Da fuq?**

"Because I LOVE HER!" **OH GOD PLEASE HELP ME.**


	12. Chapter 12

AN: stop f,aing **No. **ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat **What? Where do you even live? I want to know! I will hunt you down and kill you! **I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok! **What? How do I English?**

I was about to slit my wrists again **Anger. So much anger.** with the silver knife that Drago had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS **WHY ARE WE SHOUTING? **HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" **Okay, I actually find that quite funny. **and then... **Drum roll, please! **his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.** What? Eyes can either be white or red, not both!**

I stopped. "How did u know?"

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!" **I thought he didn't have a scar anymore.**

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" **Copycat.** I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo **Who? **changed it into a pentagram **Wow, really? **for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! **Da fuq? Why? **Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco...Volfemort has him bondage!" **Oooh, kinky! XD**

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. **Could we please?** Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango's **LOL ST. MANGO'S! WHAT IS AIR?** after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. **Yes, because the school is full of "hot gurlz" like yourself.** Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them. **Because that's so mature.**

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Enoby **Finally! You got her name right! **I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. **Wow, because you couldn't type out the entire word? **serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. **Jeez, he's just trying to make up with you! Calm yo' tits! **Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.

"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin." **What? I honestly can barely follow your thoughts. **Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong **Yes.**) to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." **Will you just tell us what they are then?** He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! . **WHY ARE WE SHOUTING AGAIN?**

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl! **What?**)imo noto okayo!" **…Gibberish. Did you close your eyes and see what sort of random words you could make? Because that's what it looks like.**

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. **..You said that already.** Now I knew he wasn't a prep.** Wow, just because he made a black flame? **

"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?" **Silly author, Draco is a wizard. You know this already. **

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame **Hehe. You said balls.** but I could c nothing.

"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore **Where did Dumbledore come from? **said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT **Ha. Haha. Hah. *Cough* Please, don't make me laugh.**) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back. **What is it with him and headaches?**

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!"

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. **Lace again? **Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. **Da fuq? Boots with pictures on them?** I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off! **No, I'd rather not. This is quite amusing.**) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss. **Wait, red lipstick and black lip gloss? I imagine that you'd look like you have swollen lips or something. Maybe bruised lips. Gross.**

"You look kawai **What?**, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit **Sadly, yes.**) you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists **STOP WITH THE SLITTING OF WRISTS.** feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. **Silly vampire, you don't have blood.** I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time. **Good call.** I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. **HAIR OF MAGICAL CREATURES! I DON'T EVEN-** He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff. **DON'T YOU DARE DISS ON HUFFLEPUFF, YOU—YOU- ARGH!**

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry **I thought his name was Vampire. **had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then... we jumped on each other and started screwing each other. **Wait, wait, WHAT? Dude, you are such a slut!**

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle **Woo! You go, Professor McGoggle! XD **who was watching us and so was everyone else. **So… You were having sex… In a classroom? Full of people? Okay….**

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" **Well, you obviously wanted to screw Vampire, so, it's your fault, too…** I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" **XD LOL! Yep, still amusing.** and then... his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. **… I thought we went through this already. **

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted. **Da fuq? Déjà vu!**

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco...Volfemort has him bondage!" **Oh, my Rowling, did you just post part of the previous chapter? Really?**

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I **Um, if you need to talk to your friend, I'm sure a phone call would work a lot better.**


	13. Chapter 13

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG! **Nope, Chuck Testa.**

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared. **Why?**

"Dumbledore Dumblydore!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there. **Dumbledore came? Why is it that my mind is so dirty? XP**

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" **Ooh, nice one!** he asked angrily.

"Volsemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice. **Muahahahahahahahahahaha!**

"No! Don't! **What? A person's not allowed to laugh around here? Jeez, tough crowd.** We need to save Draco!" we begged. **You're still both speaking at the same time? Wow, pretty impressive!**

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." **I agree!** he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot! **You know, thinking that gay guys are hot would be counterproductive, seeing as our job as human beings is to procreate, and gay men are not particularly interested in procreating with a female human being.**)

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. **Jeez, you guys should really talk to Madame Pomfrey about that.** Then he had a brainstorm. **Brain blast! **"I had an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see."** Tease.** he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then...**Drum roll please!** suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair! **Wow, you couldn't have thought of that before?**

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra" **ALLAH KEDAVRA! WHAT IS AIR?**  
>It was... <strong>Drum roll please! <strong>Voldemort!


	14. Chapter 14

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! **Nope! **Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. **For some reason, I highly doubt that.** PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws! **Okay, it was good knowing you.**

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD. **Oh, God. Is there going to be more sex? Because my eyes are threatening to "cry tears of blood."**

We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. **But… It's Voldemort's lair… **Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. **Pettigrew?** Draco was there crying tears of blood. **You guys. Please, get this checked out! **Snaketail **Well, I guess worms are sort of like mini snakes… **was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail. **Oh, God. This is going to annoy me for the rest of the story…**

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun **You. Guys. Are. Wizards.** he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. **Mary-sue, much? **"." he said. **What? How do you say a period?** (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok **Sure. Whatever you say. **)

"Huh?" I asked.  
>"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" <strong>SO. MUCH. MARY. SUE.<strong> asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. **Wow. Gory.** Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. **But… His heart has just been stabbed.** Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly. **Why are you crying? This guy was torturing your boyfriend!**

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. Then... **Drum roll please! **he started coming! **Oh, dirty mind, why must you plague me with thoughts? **We could hear his high heels clacking to us. **Hehe. Voldemort is cross-dressing. **So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. **…You came there by spell and you fly away on broomsticks? Where did they come from?** We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. **Wow, subtle much?** He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah **Hah. That's so funny I forgot how to laugh.**) and a really huge you-know-what and everything. **Could we please? **

"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts. **Hey! I resent that!**" answered Draco.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! **White girl problems.** Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing **Sure she's not. /sarcasm. **but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE! **Yes, because being really good at many things is a curse.**" I shouted and then I ran away.


	15. Chapter 15

AN: stup flaming ok! **Nope!** btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! **Could we PLEASE stop with the slitting of the wrists? It's not even funny.** fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein!

"Ebony Ebony! ***Enoby Enoby!**" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!"

But I was too mad. **Wait. Why are you mad at him? I thought you were mad at the world for making you so amazing. XP**

"Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!" I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. **Yes, because Hogwarts lets you have black doors with blood-red keys. As a matter of fact, you're not even allowed to have a private room! Because I highly doubt that you're Head Girl.** It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. **ARGH I AM GOING TO HUNT YOU DOWN AND ACTUALLY SLIT YOUR WRISTS SO YOU SEE HOW NOT-FUNNY IT IS!** I drank the blood all depressed.** Once again, you do not have blood.** Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class. **Hogwarts doesn't have Biology class.**

**So, I'm actually starting to get angry just from reading a story. I think I need ice cream. But we don't have any. T_T**

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. **Jeez, you spend more time explaining your outfit than you do actually telling the story! **I put my ebony black hair out. **What, does it need to be put out like a dog?** Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. **Again, Hogwarts doesn't have Biology.** I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. **Da fuq? That's not biology! **Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco! **Suddenly, Draco!**

"Enoby I love you!" he shouted sadly. **Why is he sad about loving her? She loves him, as far as he knows.** "I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!." **Wow. Well spoken. /sarcasm.** Then... he started to sing "Da Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it **Sure you did.**) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic **How is a voice gothic? **and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. **To be honest, if you think they're hot, then I don't.** if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr! **Nope, this is too amusing.**) .

"OMFG. **How do you pronounce that anyways? "Ohmmffguh?"**" I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now **How do you flip someone off while holding hands at the same time?**) at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch **Well, if you hate her, then why are you kissing like her?**) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. **Yes, because that's totally a gothic story.** Then we went away holding hands. Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. **Yes, because a poster means that the concert is happening at this very moment.** We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether. **Wow. No words to describe my emotions.**


	16. Chapter 16

AN: u no wut! sut up ok! **No.** proov 2 me ur nut prepz! raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! **Okay, if you're mad at your friend, then call her and tell her. Don't include us in the mix!** BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese! **Oh, God. Does this mean there will be pseudo-Japanese in this chapter? **

We ran happily to Hogsmede. **I thought you were always depressed.** There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. **Again, what about the depression? **MCR were there playing 'Helena'. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, **He's so gay in this story.** I could totally see him getting an erection **Told you.** but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. **Lies.** I was wearing **Oh, God, here we go again. **a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. **Yes, because you can totally do that while moshing. **We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,...**Drum roll please!** Volsemort and da Death Dealers! **XD Death Dealers. **

"Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u! **But… You're already there…**" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them"

"What cause we...you know..." he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what. **You mean sex? Wow, you're such mature 17-year-olds.**

"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice.

"We won't do that again. **Sure you won't.**" Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."

"OMFG **"Ohmmffguh!" **wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream? **Oh, so now you're hipsters?**" I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina **What?** or what now?"

"NO." he muttered loudly. **Okay, how exactly do you mumble loudly?**

"R u becoming a prep or what?" I shootd angrily.

"Enoby! I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by GC to me. **Why does he insist on singing?**

I was flattened **You were flattened? XD Lol! **cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me! **Well, yeah, I kind of assumed that he memorized the lyrics.**

"OK then I guess I will have to. **Oh, God. Please help me.**" I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl. **OH MERLIN PLEASE SAVE ME.**" she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese **Please, could we not?**). "BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U! **Okay, as a "good writer" (Which you aren't), technically you should keep your friends out of the story. =/**)

"It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily.

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. **I thought you guys were gonna have sex though.** We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. **Dude, that is not gothic.** "Maybe Willow will die too." I said.

"Kawai. **What?**" B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. **Energetically lethargically? How does that even work? **"Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak." **Da fuq?**

"Kawai. **What?**" I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence **I would LOVE to learn how to do that, you know. **for da rest uv da movie.

"OH HEY **WHY ARE WE SHOUTING AGAIN? **BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr." I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA." **Oh, God.**

B'Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omfg **"Ohmmffguh!"** totally lets go shopping."

"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde. **Yes, because there's totally a Hot Topic in Hogsmeade.**

"No." My head snaped up.

"WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?"

"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all." **You know, Hogwarts is pretty much in the middle of nowhere. The only village near the castle is Hogsmeade, and you know how small that is.**

"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don't even SAY that nam to me! **You're the one who said it.**). Or me.

"Dumblydore." She sed. "Let me just call our broms."

"OMFFG **"Ohmmffffguh!"** DUMBLYDORE?" I asked quietly. **IF YOU ASKED QUIETLY THEN WHY WAS IT IN ALL CAPS?**

"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." She told me. "Come on let's go."

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE **WHY ARE WE FREAKING YELLING AGAIN!** and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs."

"Da real goffs?" Me and B'Loody Mary asked.

"Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch." He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera."

"OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN! **PLEASE STOP YELLING. YOU'RE HURTING MY FEELINGS.**" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

"Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.

"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said B'Loody Mary.

"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. **I'm pretty sure that's called "stealing."** Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's ebondy dark'ness dementia TARA way what's yours?"

"Tom Rid. **Oh, God, because NO ONE can figure out where this is going.**" He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight."

"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv! **Jeez, give him a break! Consider it a compliment. He was just saying that he liked you.**" I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, **Conceited much?** Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!" **STOP YELLING!**


End file.
